Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
