So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
