D3 body, D1 cock
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
