I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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