He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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