Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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