Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
