He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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