dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
