So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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