that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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