I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
