nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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