my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
