I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You dont lie about slip and slides
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
