can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
