I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just threw up on my dentist
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
