I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
