Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
