thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
