you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
