tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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