It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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