are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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