Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
