I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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