i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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