well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
