Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
