From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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