I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
