OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
