Can i not drive my cunt home
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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