The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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