no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
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