Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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