Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
