was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
