Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
