the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
