Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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