Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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