I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
