Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize