Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
