don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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