I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
