Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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