ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize