youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
