I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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