Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
