My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
