Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
