That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize