Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
