I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
