So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
