i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i love accidental penises.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
