And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
