the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
