I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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